Tiger Boy Energy

A cute guy in his early twenties materialized next to me.

I knew him by association. He is the long distance boyfriend, Conner, of my friend Kat, and we had just sweated through a sixty minutes hot yoga class she was leading, trying hard to find our flow in a 100 degree room while our mutual neighbor leaned into some loud, erratic energy.

“Yeah, I knew I’d made a mistake as soon as I rolled my mat out next to him, and he basically yelled ‘Hello!’ at me. He had major anxious caged tiger energy,” I responded.

Conner continued to riff with me, obviously still wiping off the after effects of an hour spent next to someone so energetically disruptive. “He looked like he was doing boy yoga, jerky, forceful, no fineness, no flow.”

Kat approached and Connor threw his sweaty arm around Kat’s shoulders.

Bolstered by my friend’s presence, I said what I’d really been thinking the entire class.

“I feel bad for whatever woman ends up on the other side of that.”

The three of us burst into a laughter of recognition. Connor shot back, “Well, it all ties in, doesn’t it?”

Kat chimed in, “Oh yeah, that guy is so sweet, but damn, that is some disruptive energy.”

Just a year ago, I would have been consumed by Tiger Boy, listening to his every loud exhale, falling out of postures in tandem with him, blaming him and his lack of steadiness for my own falls, stumbles, and inconsistencies. I would have given him my hour quietly and resentfully, and he would never know the power he held over my psyche. It would have been power I willingly gave as I engaged in trying to perfect his moment, rather than be in mine.

“It actually became part of my resilience practice today,” I said. “Resilience became, ‘Can I be steady and in my own body and experience, while someone six inches away is providing me many distractions.’”

It’s classes like this that let me know how far I’ve come in my practice of letting things go, in letting people be who they are, and separating my experience from the experience of those around me.

I was proud of myself.

Proud that I could leave that room satisfied, fulfilled, calm, and conscious not in spite of Tiger Boy, but because of him.

If there is one thing I’ve learned about growth, it’s that the universe never stops handing out opportunities to see exactly where we are in relationship to ourselves. There will always be Tiger Boys unknowingly threatening my peace, but now I’ve grown into my next level. I am the Tiger Tamer, not to tame or cage the energy outside of me, but if I’m the Tamer, then I have the confidence to know that no matter what the Tiger brings my way.

I’m the one in charge, and I’m only in a cage with a tiger if I choose to be.